7 Gifts of Read-Aloud, Or Why I'll Read (Almost) Any Book to My Kid

Ohhhkay. So I think it's time to address the elephant in the room regarding kidlit. Because while you know that I love to celebrate all the terrific books that have been published for children over the years, you and I both know there's a certain dirty little secret among parents, teachers, librarians & kidlit fans.

Are you ready for this one?

(Come in a little closer, okay. . . . )

Some kidlit stinks.

There, I said it. And I'll say it again. There are oodles and scads of fantastic titles published each year, but in among all those wonderful gems are plenty of books that just -- ugh. I find myself rolling my eyes over the endless series entries, the movie tie-ins (I'm looking at you, Disney), the stilted nonfiction, the formulaic genre books, and especially those designed to get the shock factor going (bodily functions and undergarments are the staple topics of these little gems).

Two things got me thinking along this topic today. First were the Facebook comments that erupted after Scholastic Parents shared a post called The Most Important Thing to Remember During Read-Alouds, which just so happened to feature a picture of a Junie B. Jones book. Folks went off on Junie B., and all the reasons they think she isn't right for their kids (and some think she's wrong for all kids). And then came a post by my friend Erica of the excellent blog What Do We Do All Day?. Erica recently shared her post Books My Kids Love, But I Hate on Pinterest, and received quite a backlash from some folks who insinuated that admitting she hated some of her kids' favorite titles made her a "jerk".

Well okay, it seems to me that we have a couple of problems here. First, we have the issue of whether or not books are "appropriate", which is where the Scholastic post seems to be getting caught up. Right off the bat, let me just say that I would never dream of telling another parent what's appropriate for their kid. That is totally your business, not mine - just as I won't correct your kid for eating Froot Loops or wearing their pajamas to school every day, even though I don't let Sprout do either of those.

But it's my right to do what's right in my eyes for Sprout, just as it's your right as a parent to make choices you feel are right for your kids. And that's what sticks with me about those Facebook comments. Poor Junie B. was instantly classified by some as not "good" - and yet, there are others on the same thread who testified to the power of that series to draw in their kids and keep them hooked on books. Does that make Junie B. a problem child or a heroine, in the world of kidlit?

Second, there's the pushback that Erica received for stating that she doesn't like some of the books her kids reach for. Now this is just silly. Who among us can testify with certainty that there aren't some children's books that make you want to cheerfully remove your own frontal lobe? Erica's right up-front about the fact that she reads all of them to her kids (with the exception of one series - which was blackballed after a period of too much exposure for poor Mommy!). But to me her admission that she hates these books makes me love her more -- she is human after all, despite her fantastically inventive activities, which make me want to go to her place for a play date.

I'll state right now, for the record, that the Dinosaur Cove books Sprout is currently obsessed with are so inane as to make me want to read a Harlequin novel to cleanse my palate. But we've slogged through darn near all of them, and I'm dreading Sprout's request to reread them when we're done. I've suffered through Thomas books so long they've rivalled academic papers, and countless repetitions of Goodnight Moon and that whispering bunny. I don't complain -- too much -- when I'm asked to read dinosaur tomes, and I don't balk at reading the counting board books that still come off the shelf when I least expect it.

I don't love any of these things, and it's not a stretch to say that I hate them. Frankly, I'm not really a fan of Junie B., either, if only because I so much prefer Ramona and Clementine and Pippi and Anna Hibiscus. But read them I do, and I'll read Junie B. too, when and if she makes an appearance. Because more important to me than whether or not *I* like a book, is whether or not it's doing what it needs to do for Sprout.

Here's what reading aloud with your kids does:

1. Reading aloud teaches kids to associate reading with pleasure. 

The coziness and togetherness of a shared experience like reading goes a long way. The bond you'll develop is something they'll remember long after the boring series book is forgotten.

2. Reading aloud helps us slow down. 

This activity can't be rushed - it is by nature deliberate and paced. You have to stop, turn off the screens, and be in the moment with your kid. That focus is the gift of your time, a precious thing to help your child see how important they are to you.

3. Reading aloud develops literacy skills. 

Kids learn inflection, tone, emotion. They hear how the voice goes up on a question and drops to a hush at the end of a tense scene. All of this transfers when they begin puzzling out text for themselves.

4. Reading aloud exposes kids to vocabulary. 

They learn how to use familiar words in different ways, and figure out new words from context or by asking. Kids whose parents read aloud are exposed to much more language, and therefore tend to develop a larger vocabulary as a result.

5. Reading aloud offers opportunity for discussion. 

When a character behaves in a certain way, reader and listener have a chance to stop and talk about those actions. Was that a good decision? Was that language appropriate? Why did this happen, and what might happen if a similar situation came up in real life? Reading gives us golden moments to act out scenarios before they happen.

6. Reading aloud promotes exploration. 

Children typically experience books by hearing them long before they are able to read those words themselves. As a result kids can explore interests that might be a bit of a stretch, strengthening their comprehension and encouraging inquiry. Of course books need to be within the realm of appropriateness, but pushing the boundaries of age levels is completely possible in a read-aloud.

7. Reading aloud teaches us to share the magic of story. 

As humans, we crave story; it's around us every day, in the way we interact and the background we bring to each encounter we have. When you read to a child, you open the door of story, and help them find new keys to relate to the world they live in through the lessons they've learned in imagination.

I may not always love the books Sprout chooses to bring home, checked out from the library on his newly minted library card. But grin and bear it I shall, reading cheerfully even the books I least enjoy -- because the rewards for reading these awful books together far outweigh the cost.

30 Days of Picture Books - Too Many Toys by David Shannon

It's Day 24 of our 30 Days of Picture Books. As I'm writing this, it's already starting to feel a lot like Christmas around Casa de Kinser. Hubs and Sprout put up our outdoor lights this weekend and we've got our tree up as well, though not fully decorated. (Our new kitty Jasper isn't sure what to think about it - he's intrigued, but wary.) We've started shopping for Sprout and Santa's been informed of the wish list, which this year includes Legos and the new Otis Christmas book. :)

And that leads me right in to today's pick, David Shannon's Too Many Toys. This book hits close to my heart as we find ourselves actively working to keep the volume of toys in Sprout's closet to an absolute minimum. It's a hard fight sometimes, let me tell you! But in our way of thinking, it's more important to have significant, well-chosen toys than just a lot of -- well, junk.

And junk is indeed the problem in Spencer's house, as he and his parents are being gradually buried under a flood of toys. Spencer pretty much has every toy under the sun, so many he can't possibly play with - or even find - all of them. He's not bothered by the mess, but his parents are. And one day Spencer's mom finally snaps and insists that Spencer re-home some of his playthings. As you might expect, this doesn't go down too well with Spencer, who fights Mom at every step of the way. But at last the pair assembles a box full of stuff that's headed to another destination. All is looking good until Spencer decides there's one thing he can't let go of. . . and you won't believe what it is!

Shannon brings his trademark energy to Spencer's chaotic world of toys. The masses of plastic playthings this kiddo has assembled are impressive, and they definitely imprint with kids. As we read, Sprout kept remarking, "He's got too many stuffs!" - even without my intervention (Shannon's point is hard to miss). I really appreciate not only that this topic was addressed, but that Shannon demonstrates Spencer's resistance in a realistic way. And the resolution is proof positive that some of the best playthings are those you discover all on your own.

Look, let's be honest -- kids rarely want to part with their toys, even when it's obvious that the piles need to be cleared out. But in the holiday season, with lots of goodies coming in stockings and packages, Too Many Toys might just be the bibliotherapy your little ones need to clear out the old and make way for new!

Too Many Toys by David Shannon, published by Scholastic

Kevin and His Dad by Irene Smalls

Sprout and I got pretty lucky with Sprout's dad. My husband is not only a very loving dad, he's also very involved, and has been from day one. He and Sprout were off having adventures together from the first moment Mommy went back to work, when Sprout had been with us for just four weeks. Initially even a trip to the grocery store was a noteworthy expedition, but gradually they have added a lot more complex activities to their retinue. Together my boys have done just about everything imaginable, a lot of it things that the average dad might not attempt with a toddler, much less a dad who uses a wheelchair.

I'm always on the lookout for picture books that celebrate the role of dads in kids' lives, because honestly I find that they're somewhat in short supply. Even tougher to find are titles where the dad is taking on some nontraditional gender roles, something that my husband and most dads we know do without batting an eye! (After all, that laundry has to be done by somebody, right??) That's why, on a recent library visit, I was thrilled to stumble across Kevin and His Dad by Irene Smalls. It not only covers all of the above, it features an African American family to boot - what's not to love?

In this engaging title, Kevin and his dad are spending the day together while Mom is at work. First the boys are doing their chores - washing windows, doing laundry, fixing the faucet. Dad manages to make everything fun, and the mom in me loves that the emphasis is on doing the household tasks first before they go play. Once all the work is finished, the pair heads outside for some catch, then a movie, then a stop at the diner for milkshakes before walking home in the twilight, talking about their day.

I love the whole vibe of Kevin and His Dad. Here's a dad who's in tune with his kid, doesn't mind having fun but who is teaching the importance of taking care of basic chores. The pictures by Michael Hays (of Abiyoyo fame, one of Sprout's favorites) definitely set the tone and emphasize the author's upbeat text. Here are a father and son who clearly enjoy each other's company, having an average day together that is bound to be a memory this boy will remember for years to come. The urban setting is great too, presenting a nicely balanced look at life in a city setting.

The real find here is that the ethnicity of the characters isn't the focal point. Honestly, it's not easy to find a book with people of color that shows *real life*, as people really live it. Don't get me wrong, I think books about historical events or social inequalities are important. But it's also important to just have reality depicted in an authentic way, such as this warm and welcoming portrait of a father and son passing a day with activities everyone can relate to.

If your library doesn't have this one (it's an older title, but still in print), make a purchase suggestion, or consider buying a copy yourself and donating it. Like our other picks Shopping with Dad and Bigger Than Daddy, Kevin and His Dad is a must-have addition to any well-rounded picture book collection.

Kevin and His Dad by Irene Smalls, published by Little, Brown and Company
Ages 3-6
Source: Library
First lines: "On Saturday, with Mom away, Dad and I work -- then we play. First we take the vacuum and railroad the rugs -- choo, choo, coming through! I love cleaning up with you."
Recommended

Mom's Bookshelf - Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos

Three words for you: celebrity adoption book.

Gah!

Usually I run like crazy from this sort of thing. I mean, as adoptive parents, we've already had our share of inane comparisons to a certain megawatt celebrity couple (yes, because that's why we chose adoption to build our family - we thought it was trendy. Sheesh.)

But Nia Vardalos's book seemed promising. First, because I adore My Big Fat Greek Wedding (you know you do too). Second, because the blurb mentioned her struggles with fertility. And third, because she chose a route that is somewhat unusual for a celebrity - foster adoption.

And remarkably, Instant Mom does not disappoint. Sure, there's the requisite name-dropping, but it's done with a light touch - you get the sense that Vardalos isn't so much wanting her readers to be bowled over by her celebrity friends as she is proud of her very cool support network. And yes, she's got help in raising her daughter and keeping up her home. But really, like any one of us would pass up the chance to have someone  mop our kitchen floor? I sure wouldn't!

What works so well about this memoir is Vardalos's authenticity. She is unsparing in her honesty, about her feelings as she struggles to balance fame with her desire to be a mom, about her emotional ups and downs during fertility treatments, and then about her search for the right method to motherhood. She tells of a harrowing experience at the fertility clinic that finally convinced her and husband Ian Gomez to look into adoption. And she states forthrightly that though foster adoption worked for them, it isn't the strategy for everyone.

I also love her description of the early days with her daughter. Vardalos relates that, though she and her husband adored their little girl right away, it was clear that the feeling wasn't 100% mutual. Though their daughter wants to bond with them, she's also scared - so there's plenty of acting out and testing limits, all of which Vardalos and Gomez negotiate their way around with common sense and a healthy dose of humor (plus some help from Nia's mom). She describes the feeling of wanting it all to appear perfect, when in reality no one's getting much sleep and everyone is adjusting to this new arrangement, including the family dog. And she talks about that sensation of not being able to fully take a deep breath until their adoption is finalized -- the fear that something, anything, will interrupt the joy her family is experiencing at last.

So many adoption stories end with the placement. It's the perfect "happily ever after", isn't it? And we all want to think there's nothing but sunshine and Skittles after the social workers leave. But Vardalos dares to go further, and talk about what it's like to parent a hurt and fearful child, when you're not completely sure what you're doing -- and truly, who ever is? She's frank about the big issues, like sleep, which is a huge issue right at first. (She and Gomez switch off sleeping in their daughter's room, and inch by inch they ease her to a full night on her own. Sound familiar?) This is reality, and even though the parents are celebrities, they're living the experience we all know well, of bonding with a child whose story extends so far beyond the walls of your home, and whose presence in your life may be a dream come true, but isn't always 100% camera-ready.

This was a quick read, and a worthwhile one, not just because I became an instant mom myself when my son was handed over to me in Addis Ababa, but also because I know the feelings Vardalos describes. I've lived them, and they've been terrifying and glorious. There's fear here, and uncertainty, but delight and laughter too -- and at the end of the day, instant or not, that's what family truly is.

Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos, published by HarperCollins
Adult
Source: Library
Sample: "By the way, the only term I disagree with some on is 'adoptive mom.' Why the qualifying adjective? Why not just 'mom'? I've been introduced on talk shows as 'adoptive mom Nia Vardalos.' Um, once you've wiped a butt, you're a mom."
Recommended

Mom's Bookshelf - How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm by Mei-Ling Hopgood

When it comes to parenting notions, most of us don't stray too far outside the realm of what we know to be true. We might do what our parents did, or actively try not to do what they did. We consult parenting books that receive high marks, check out websites, seek out the advice of other moms and dads for particularly thorny issues. But most of us don't look much beyond our cultural comfort zone when considering how to discipline our kiddos or what time we should be putting them to bed.

And then there's Mei-Ling Hopgood.

Hopgood and her husband were thrilled to add daughter Sofia to their family, while living abroad in Argentina. Pretty much everything the couple knew about kids they had learned through their own cornfed American upbringings. Essential gear? Strollers and pull-ups. Approved play? Mommy and me. Sleeping arrangements? Bedtime and crib for one.

But then Hopgood started noticing how Argentine parents treated bedtime - more of a suggestion than anything, with young kids present in restaurants and out and about far later than American children generally are. Digging deeper, Hopgood found the roots of this practice in the culture of her adopted homeland. What she found was less about sleep habits and more about what the Argentine approach to bedtime says about their attitude toward children as a whole. And far from negligent parenting (which is, let's be honest, what most of us might think here if we saw kids eating dinner at 10 p.m.), in Argentina it's considered an important part of family togetherness.

This led Mei-Ling Hopgood to begin exploring parenting practices around the globe, compiling her findings in the fascinating book How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting. Hopgood's research is incredibly insightful, as she digs into why Mayan children participate (happily!) in household chores and how French moms and dads get their children (willingly!) eating veggies. In each case that Hopgood examines, we learn a little something about the particular cultural norms that are transmitted from parent to child, and how those norms support the larger values and beliefs of that cultural system.

As an undergrad sociology/anthropology major, this stuff is right up my alley, and it really made me think about why we hold the beliefs we do about proper nutrition, playtime, and yes, even bedtime. Much of what we do is in all honesty pretty arbitrary, when it all comes down to it. And in fact it could just be that the Japanese are on to something when they let kids work out their own petty squabbles with -- shock of shocks! -- little or no adult intervention. Can you imagine??!

Though I'm not giving up our stroller just yet, I'll admit that Hopgood makes some pretty intriguing points here. And if nothing else, I'll feel a lot less guilty next time we stay up a little past bedtime.